Honestly, indica, after reading this I am not sure what to say to you. It sounds like a cry for help more than anything. With such a bleak hopeless view of the world I find it hard to understand why you had children at all. What is it with these flowers? They bloom briefly into life, just to be killed by your children. Is it a metaphor for civilization?

But seriously, indica, I'd say its time to speak to a therapist. Living in such a hopeless state must be torment. Take a break from writing, be brave enough to ask for help, refresh your view on life and the world. Focus on what you can do to leave the world a little better; only in this way can you hope to influence the world for the better.

As Confucius wrote,

"The ancients who wished to illustrate illustrious virtue throughout the kingdom, first ordered well their own states. Wishing to order well their states, they first regulated their families. Wishing to regulate their families, they first cultivated their persons. Wishing to cultivate their persons, they first rectified their hearts. Wishing to rectify their hearts, they first sought to be sincere in their thoughts."

Focus first, indica, on your thoughts. Only once you have mastered yourself can you hope to influence your children, your family, the world, for the better. And if you really have no hope, really believe the world is beyond salvation, then what point does any of this have? Best leave the flowers alone, to enjoy what little joy they have in the Sun in peace.